The Logic of Porcology

I'm leaving for the Kananaskis in 30 minutes. I will be staying in a swanky hotel and living life large. I'm bringing a couple of books, a bunch of cash, my swimming trunks and a change of clothing. I go now, see you on Sunday.

I have decided that West Wing is no longer a watchable show. If I have to choose between sleep and West Wing, sleep wins. To date, everything else wins over WW since about September. The show to watch now? Joan of Arcadia. I'd rather spend my friday night at 9:00 pm watching that than anything I've done this year.

Good show, you should check it out.

Sometimes I will forget something for years and then suddenly remember it as clear as day. When a smell or word ignites the memory it's like an awakening. Suddenly waves of emotions flow over me, and then I place the memory and the feelings subside. After the recollection strong feelings of that memory never return. So maybe it's good that I can't remember shit if you spell it because occasionally I remember the scent of the wind and that feeling is indescribable.

I'm in a strange mood. I can't describe it precisely but it approximates being excited. Only I have nothing to be excited about, my life is a pile of steaming shit.

I've changed my name to Chester Pines. It's a good name, and I can deny being myself if there is ever a lawsuit.

I've decided to become a monk, an armed monk. I am going to find a small, out-of-the-way parish and settle in. The hermit's life for me!

You may wonder how the two paragraphs above are related. Plausible deniability.

Tell me the following: Do women have wet dreams? Do women have an autonomic response to their erotic dreams? Will a woman admit to having a wet dream? Do women generally have erotic dreams?

I am nothing like Sam Seaborn. This test is bullshit. If you try it tell me the results. Sushi. soon. I love sushi. I had sushi in New Orleans and Halifax, but nothing compares to the sushi here in Calgary. Especially when it comes to price.

It really is nice to be back in Calgary. The weather here isn't as bad as people say it is; at least we have chinooks. And the people here are friendly. There isn't nearly enough flashing of breasts for my liking but perhaps stampede will evolve into a flashing theme. You know, once cowboys and beef go out of style.

In addition, I have finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird - Lee. I thought it was a good novel. I especially liked the perspective chosen. the race realtions aren't realistic someone told me. I have to disagree with them. Dave, email me your thoughts on the novel and I'll let you have it.

The idealistic speechwriter is well-liked by just about everyone. He's known for his excellent writing, sense of humor, and tendency to be clutzy. Although being younger than the rest of the staff, he's often treated as so, much to his dismay.

:: Which West Wing character are you? ::

// posted by Chester @ 9:17 a.m. 0 comments

I am safely in Halifax, contrary to David's comment. It's quite warm here compared to the reports I'm getting from Calgary. About 10C, and the rain has stopped. Of course I miss the New Orleans weather already... it was 23C at 5 am yesterday. Ruth is the gracious host that she promised so I'm off to go do fun stuff. I'll let y'all knowthat i did buy some gifts, but they are cliche gifts. You'll enjoy it anyway, or else!

I will be leaving New orleans in less than 12 hours. I am already beginning to miss it. I saw the Mississippi today, the Old Man. Looks a lot like a lake, very calm and torrent-less. Anyway, I'm wrapping up loose ends and giggling a lot. Lot of character down here. I've decided not to take a single picture whilst in NOLA. I don't think it right to steal away any of the flair. As for gifts and things... I haven't been out shopping once. If someone wants it, they can have my Halloween costume. I'll pick up some pralines at the airport and maybe I'll see something that catches my eye.

David brought me to Hillel tonight for dinner. As the lone goyim, and with my last name being Porco, I felt a little out of place, but since nobody was uncomfortable I stayed and had fun. I've got a pen to show for it, and a website address for anyone else wanting to know about Hillel.

I hope Ruth has a laundry doo-dad in her apartment building because I have a lot of dirty clothes. All the laundromats here are connected to bars, so you would think it easy to get to one. Wrong, we just haven't had time, and now, my 5 am exit from Dave's isn't allowing me to do the laundry before I leave. I really would have liked a Buddha Belly t-shirt. Maybe I'll get one on the way home. Wait and See.

Decode: y htrow toner ' ew, yht rowt one r'ew. elppin.

Still, and glady so, in New Orleans! Finished Confederacy of Dunces by Toole. An amazing novel on its own and to read it in New Orleans gives special meaning.

David and I have been spending a great deal of time on Magazine Street. There are no tourists there, only real (or at least transplanted) New Orleanians. The food is, as I've mentioned, still very good. The catfish Po' Boy I had last night was excellent, as was the potato salad made with creole mustard. I also had Eggs Sardou at a lovely little breakfast place right in the middle of a residential area. Spinach and Artichoke seasoned to perfection in place of Canadian bacon makes Eggs Benedict into Eggs Sardou. Grits are tasteless things but filling if one is hungry. And the Banana Pecan (Peh-cawn) Pancakes are mouth-wateringly, delicately, fatteningly pure heaven.

I am spending a lot of time with David and he is tiring of me quickly but I have only 2 more days left to enjoy New Orleans before moving on. I hope he forgives me after I leave for all the running around I force him to do. Tonight is another night and I'll have a report for y'all when i get back to a computer. Have fun in the cold, it's still 80F here.

I am one lucky bastard, no doubt about that!

Last night was Halloween. My favorite rassin stuck me in the quarter by myself so I waited for a couple hours watching all the freaks and degenerates down there. I had a couple drinks, mostly I just stared and ogled. The slut costume was in full force down here. And with the 80 degree weather why not? It turns out that sluts are in all sorts of fields these days. Construction sluts, french maid sluts, nurse sluts, medieval sluts, girl scout sluts, etc. The street was so crowded you had to wade through it, and there was plenty of touching, though none of it sexual. The sexual touching was exclusive to the streets off Frenchman.

Then I take a cab home with a woman-hating, Roman Catholic with a serious grudge and a need to have cash up front. He chats me up and tells me about his Halloween Eve experience. I got a good deal on the cab because I wasn't drunk and I was polite, cabbies like that.

This afternoon, after my 2 pm wake-up call, I had alligator soup. Let me tell you, Alligator is a tasty meat, especially when prepared by Cajuns. I also had some boiled shrimp, a tasty treat at Frankie & Johnny's where the decor is decadent and the floors slippery. Po' Boys are the specialite du maison but that delicacy will have to wait another day, I'm afraid.

I know you are envious, but that's alright by me. I'm enjoying the weather down here. A nice fall day is a bit chilly for these people but I call it room temperature! So, if the blizzard continues just recall me in my shorts at 3 am with no cares in the world.

Scumite is an idiot. I know who you are moron!