The Logic of Porcology

I've changed my name to Chester Pines. It's a good name, and I can deny being myself if there is ever a lawsuit.

I've decided to become a monk, an armed monk. I am going to find a small, out-of-the-way parish and settle in. The hermit's life for me!

You may wonder how the two paragraphs above are related. Plausible deniability.