The Logic of Porcology

Your Japanese Name Is...

Kisho Inoue

Your Birthdate: June 30

You have the type of personality that people either love or hate.You're opinionated, dramatic, intense, and very outspoken.And some people can't get enough of you - they're totally addicted.Others, well, they wish you were a little more reserved. Your strength: Your flair Your weakness: If you think it, you say it Your power color: Scarlet red Your power symbol: Inverted triangle Your power month: March

So, I'm sitting here in my hotel room in Lethbridge with no pants on and I'm thinking to myself, 'What the hell do I do now?'

I've got a laptop, connected to the internet, loaded with all kinds of goodies. I've got 4 novels sitting beside me. I've got a book of Sudoku puzzles right beside the books. I've got a TV and a bed too. But I'm so fucking bored because I have no company. Of course, if I had someone with me I would have to put my pants back on, but I digress.

It seems that while I might have the entire universe by the balls in my current situation I am still not happy without some sort of human companionship. I am really fucked up! There have got to be some stronger drugs I can take for this. The 2 pills I pop everyday just aren't doing it anymore.

I have several favorite pastimes, as some of you may know, such as watching films, reading, cooking, watching television, sudoku, civ 4, etc. But I prefer to do all of these things while someone is in the room making noise. Just so I know they're there with me. Most of the time, as my sister can attest, I just ignore these people in the room but I require them all the same.

Anyways, I thought you all should know how screwed up your favorite "chestie" is.

No, it wasn't me who got the office manager job, I wouldn't want it even if I was qualified. It was the douche-bag who I was ranting about in March and April who is a complete fuck-up who's been on his way out for 2 years. Obviously he's not on his way out that much.

Fuck. If you were to look around the office for the most incompetent individual who's been in the business for 30 years but can't seem to do routine paperwork you would find my new office manager.

Fuck.

Do you know anything about labia?

Yesterday, sweet Pea told me about her labia for 20 minutes.

Woah!

Talk about a surprise announcement. My boss is leaving for greener pastures. But the real surprise is who they've selected to replace him.

Yowza.

What I want to know is this: How do you get a coworker to go along with something that he is not at all keen on doing while at the same time making him feel like it's his ultimate goal to do it.

I need my guy to lay off some people, in the interest of the company. But he is not willing to listen to an idea (never mind implement it) if it comes from my boss.

Riddle me this.