The Logic of Porcology

What the U of C needs is a shooting rampage to make it a really good research University. We've tried more research funding but Henry just guzzles that up. Columbine was nothing, an unknown town before the rampage there. Now look at it, they've even got a major motion picture about bowling starring none other than the town itself. We need Michael Moore in Calgary.

I'd do it myself if only I had a gun, but those dastardly Canadian lawmakers have taken my guns away. (the latest protest against Gun Control.) Oh well, I can always go to the states and pick one up. smuggle it back in my rectum, etc.